We all have stories to tell

I’m such a fucking failure. Everyone always complains about getting an 80% on a test and then there’s me who gets a 50%. I hate how I procrastinate, last year I never would but now I do it all the time. I hate how I can never understand/listen to what’s being taught in class. They never teach you the main idea of what we’re learning, they teach you everything around it but the basic point, which is why I never ace any of my tests/quizzes. I’ll get over 95% on assignments and projects but when it comes to the tests I always fail them. It’s ridiculous how our grades are mostly determined by memory. No one can just sit down, read 7 booklets and have it all memorized word by word. I really want to do great in all of my courses, I really do.  I’ve been trying to all year but nothing ever works. I’m only do good in one course, psychology. The only reason why I’m doing very well in that course is because the things you learn about make sense and are relevant. You can take what you learn from that class and use it in your everyday life unlike history where you learn about wars and laws that happened years ago. I think the thing that bothers me most about getting such shitty grades is the fact that the grades that I have now affect my future of getting into certain universities and occupation fields. I’m supposed to be getting over 85% or 90% in all of my courses and so far that’s not happening. I give up on myself

I really just want to go to someone’s or even my house, play video games, watch any kind of movie, eat food, cuddle and makeout all night WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO ASK